Just a quick post after something that was mentioned on Twitter (as ever)
This tweet was part of a discussion about people being nice. And I think they are. But I do sometimes have a problem with this description of charity. Like, I’m sure, many people I am especially sensitive to some kinds of attack. (And sadly, attacks happen quite often on Twitter) This is nor exclusively relating to Twitter but happens in real life too. (Also brought to mind by a series of posts from @nancygedge the first of which you can find here.
I suspect the insults/attacks/unkind words that really hurt are those which attack the qualities & characteristics that we feel define us.
I am fairly immune to insults which describe characteristics I undoubtedly have (short, old, fat, northern), even if they are somewhat exaggerated. I am fine with faults being pointed out (pedantic, picky, over-emotional, erratic) but I am horribly insulted if someone implies that I do not have a characteristic that I am proud of
I am very upset if someone implies that…
- I do not work hard (not lazy, I think you can be lazy by nature and still work hard, it just makes you efficient)
- I am careless.(I make mistakes just as everybody does but never because I don’t care)
- I am dishonest in some way (I am honest to the point of it being a hindrance)
- I am stupid (I may not be the brightest ever but I’m really not stupid)
I’m happy to have a discussion, I’m happy to disagree but I’m a bit over sensitive about attacks and my views being dismissed out-of-hand and in these cases I do find it quite difficult to be charitable.
I think it may all be due to self-image. We are less able to deal with things that attack our self-image.
What are your trigger points