Little_Mavis' rants and musings

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Nurture 1314

Having put off my Nurture 1314 blog for over a week now I feel I really should do this in an effort to clear my mind and move on. I have struggled to think positively over the past few years. This is a double blow in a way because I am an optimist by nature. I have sometimes disguised this by a defensive form of pessimism where I actively try to assume the worst outcome so that if it should happen I would be better able to cope, however, secretly, I never really believed bad things would happen. They have of course, and I have coped, better on some occasions than others.


  1. I lost my dad in February. Lots of Twitter people were right there with me through the awful winter months last year when we were trying to cope with his increasing dementia & frailty. My youngest brother was brilliant once we realised how serious his condition was and with organising everything after he died. It has left a huge empty space in my life and sadness mixed with a relief which in turn produces a level of guilt. I keep meaning to blog about him. I’ll be ready to do that soon I think.
  2. On that note, Twitter friends. When I have had dark times they have been so caring & supportive. There were times when I feel I wouldn’t have made it through without them there on my phone with me in Filey. My family were good but having more people to talk to and lean on was invaluable.
  3. We had a huge summer tweetup at Yorkshire Sculpture Park again & met several new folk. This is getting to be an annual event and is brilliant. We selfishly arrange it around our anniversary (mainly because it is Summer & we have good weather usually. If you want to see what it is like my OH blogged about it here.
  4. Met several new Tweeps IRL such as @kykaree @realaqua & @BadPenfold as well as overseas chums @hugeshark & @badunderpants. Lovely people all.
  5. Now have permanent job again. Admittedly it’s part time and only until my charge finishes primary school (currently in year 5) and far, far lower pay than before but still, a job.
  6. Bought a SAD lamp in an effort to counter winter blues (or in my case grumpiness) so far, it seems to help.
  7. Have finally bought paint to start to redecorate our bedroom. Took ages to work out the right type because of the stone walls and incredibly old plaster. (also rather expensive)
  8. Have kept in touch with people from my old job who still matter to me. Turns out most of the ones I had issues with have now left, not under especially pleasant circumstances. That gave me a rather selfish & possibly spiteful thrill of satisfaction. That’s not kind of me I know but my life was made a misery and there is a sense of Karma.
  9. Started sewing classes. I have now half made a tunic. With class fees, patterns, materials & other equipment, this will end up being the most expensive garmernt I have ever owned, but I am having such fun learning completely new skills and meeting people.
  10. I’m more at peace with myself. I still doubt my abilities but my confidence is slowly returning.
  11. Booked trip to the US to stay with friends. We have been promising to do this for ages but finances did not really allow. We sold my dad’s bungalow fairly quickly and have decided to spend some of that on this trip. I am so very excited. I’m even prepared to let you all in on a little secret. I have never flown!

Getting  desperate now Oh yes Helped my charge to learn two things I think will really help

  1. To arrange items in neat rows before counting or to cross things out once counted (I know, but it’s an important skill)
  2. To skip over questions she can’t answer and come back to them later rather than trying & trying & getting upset which stopped her concentrating on anything remaining (Sounds minor but will be a huge asset when doing the actual assessments)

Whee. That#’13


  1. Carry on challenging myself to rediscover my self-confidence and, importantly, push through inevitable minor set-backs.
  2. Forget old job, (if not forgive) Move on.
  3. Be more proactive at work. New class teacher in January. Good time to start.
  4. Blog more consistently. I have neglected it of late.
  5. Re-enrol in sewing class. A half finished tunic is neither use nor ornament.
  6. Book on any suitable available CPD courses.
  7. Actually use the paint we finally bought to redecorate the bedroom. We will have to wait a while for better light though. Also find some wallpaper.
  8. Get back into the garden & tidy up all the bits that have become overgrown or shabby. (Part way there)
  9. Make sure we have at least the occasional weekend away.
  10. Keep in touch with my brothers. It would be so easy not to now we no longer have my dad to make sure we occasionally meet.
  11. Actually go back to Filey for a few days & see some of my dad’s old friends. They were wonderful when he was ill and I want to make sure they know how much I appreciated this.
  12. Walk more. When I get out I always enjoy it. The first step is always the hardest.
  13. Meet more Twitter folk and make sure I stay in touch with those I have already met
  14. Book a place at #NorthernRocks

Right Done. Excuse mistakes please. Was rattled off in a bit of a rush. Off next door shortly for drinks & friends for NYE. Have a great 2014 everyone!


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Poor Little Rich Girl/Boy/Whatever

I’m not sure if this makes me more right-wing than I usually am, or more envious, or more uncaring, or maybe you lot are all more generous spirits than me, but it’s come up a few times recently & I was reminded of it again today when I saw this  news story.

I accept that money doesn’t solve everything, and that it doesn’t necessarily make you happy (though if it doesn’t it does make you wonder why so many people pursue the acquisition of vast amounts of it quite so relentlessly), but surely it makes most things a whole lot easier. It surely also makes adversity easier to cope with.

To start with a popular figure, Nigella. I fully understand that domestic violence, in all its forms is dreadful for the victim. I understand that many partners can be controlling as well as aggressive and that escaping this can be extremely difficult. I still believe that it will be easier to escape if you can walk out of the family home and check into a five star hotel, or take refuge in your villa in Spain than if you have to walk the streets begging friends to take you in and conceal you from your aggressor. In this case publicity would be a double edged sword, yes, the news will hit the media but it also means that your partner won’t be able to turn up on the doorstep of wherever you have taken refuge with a baseball bat.

In the link at the start of this piece, I’m also pretty sure it must be easier to deal with addiction problems if you are able to check yourself into the Priory for treatment, rather than coping with them while living in a squat and going on a waiting list for NHS treatment.

By all means have sympathy for these people, but don’t pretend that the money doesn’t make it easier. It makes things vastly easier. And if it doesn’t, you have the option of giving it all away.